After many prayers and much time, I finally had my first counseling session yesterday. I really love my counselor, Lauren, and I'm very comfortable with her, which is really good. It was very hard for me because I had to give her an overview of all my problems so she'd know what she's dealing with, but I could tell it's very hard for my mother as well.
Lauren mentioned bringing my dad to session and I told her she could, but I didn't recommend it and I don't think it'll do any good. I honestly don't know if he even knows I'm going, but I really don't care. I'm doing this for me. He made his choice already.
I'm really nervous about continuing this journey because I know how difficult and painful it's going to be, but I also have more hope for my future that I've had in a very long time. I have hope that I'll be able to go out into the world and take charge of my own life instead of letting other people's mistakes control me. I have hope that I will stop being genuinly afraid for my life or my well-being everytime a guy touches me. I have hope that I will be able to get married to someone I love and be able to trust him. Whatever happens though, I must remember that God is in control and He loves me and only wants what's best for me.
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