The family I chose

In my 17 years, one valuable lesson I've learned is that family, like life, is what you make it. Am I saying we can choose our parents or change people? Absolutely not. I have learned through my own family, however, the saying "you can't pick your family" to be at least half untrue. Sure, we can't get rid of the family we're born into but we can often improve it by adding to it. I was born with 1 half-sister, older than myself by almost 11 years, a product of my father's first marriage who lived my entire childhood in Missouri with her mother. I am now the proud little sister of 5 older sisters, 1 older brother, and 2 brothers-in-law. I started with 1 mother and I now have 4 including Sarah, the college student that has been another mother to me just about as long as I can remember. Ironically, I still to date have just the 1 father I gained at birth. I can honestly say this new, enlarged family is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My sisters are the loves of my life. The love I have for them is greater and unlike any other for anyone else. They are my everything; my life. Though it can be a bit challenging being the baby, especially of 5, like when they're going through something you don't understand and you feel like there's nothing you can do or say to help or when everyone is always telling you what to do and looking over your shoulder to protect you all the time, I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I love having 4 amazing women to look up to and I know everything they tell me is just because they love me and want what's best for me. They're always there to protect me and teach me and I wouldn't trade that for anything. We don't always get along, don't get me wrong, but because we didn't grow up together, the disagreements are generally small and short-lived. Heh, in fact they're most often caused by either a bad mood or 2 stubborn heads butting together. They've all taught me so much about life, faith, love, values, and myself. I've learned responsibility, how to be a leader, how to just get out there and be yourself without caring what anyone else thinks, how to have faith in all times, how to love unconditionally and without end or exception, how to forgive, how to focus on what's important, how to savor and appreciate the little things, how to do anything no matter how hard it is, what it feels like to be accepted completely for who you are, how it feels to be loved beyond understanding, what to not do in relationships, and so much more. They're all such different people, I've learned different things from each of them, and wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
I have found over the time that I've been a part of this amazing family, that our family dynamic is very hard for other people to understand most of the time. It is hard for them to grasp how we're very simply and exactly family, though none of us are related. We love each other in the same way we would if we had all been born siblings, though probably more. Explaining how we got this way is close to impossible too I have found, simply because it's something that just happened-that's part of what makes it so special. These bonds just developed beyond that of a normal friendship and melded themselves into a familial relationship. I'm not sure any of us could pinpoint exactly how or even when this happened but, at least for me, that's part of the beauty in it. It's not meant to be understood because it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters now is us and that we're family-for life. We also all understand that the commitment we've made to each other is indeed forever and always. There's no getting out of it, just like in a blood-related family, though we all love each other too much to care. Though I'll admit we never come close to all getting along, our bonds are as strong as ever and truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I thank God from the depths of my heart everyday for giving me such an amazing gift and I know that none of us will ever be the same.


"Right Here"
By: Miley Cyrus

I'll be right here when you need me
Anytime just keep believin
And I'll be right here
If you ever need a friend
Someone to care and understand
I'll be right here

All you have to do is call my name
No matter how close or far away
Ask me once and I'll come
I'll come runnin
And when I can't be with you dream me near
Keep me in your heart and I'll appear
All you gotta do is turn around
Close your eyes
Look inside
I'm right here

Isn't it great that you know that
I'm ready to go wherever you're at
Anywhere I'll be there

All you have to do is call my name
No matter how close or far away

Ask me once and I'll come
I'll come runnin
And when I can't be with you dream me near
Keep me in your heart and I'll appear
All you gotta do is turn around
Close your eyes
Look inside
I'm right here

Whenever you need me
There's no need to worry
You know that I'm gonna be
Right here

Ask me once and I'll come
I'll come runnin
And when I can't be with you dream me near
Keep me in your heart and I'll appear
All you gotta do is turn around
Close your eyes
Look inside
I'm right here
Oh yeah yeah
I'm right here

Dare to Care?

Why do we still care? Why, when after being shot down over and over and over, do some of us still hold out that hope that things might be different the next time? Why do we continue to crawl into bed and lick our wounds, only to get up and try again tomorrow? When you really think about it, there is no sense to it and yet, it is the pattern of our existence, some of us. Is there a point then, when it stops? Will there come a time when we stop trying, whether from accepting the inevidible or simply giving up hope? Is this continued hope simply wishful thinking? Do we think that as long as we keep hoping and remembering what was that we keep the path open for it to be again? Do we fear that if we give up, we lose any chance of things going back to the way they were? Is it a fear of letting go or of what we will find as the alternative? Is this a weakness or a curse or is that merely circumstancial? Do we even know why we're doing it anymore? Is it still at least partially for them and because we love them or only for ourselves in attempt to hold onto something we feel might otherwise be lost forever? Worse yet, is it simply because we would feel guilty not to?

I think, depending on the person, it is a combination of many, if not all, of these things - both fear and courage, true hope and false hope, pain and a certain numbness. I also think that there comes a point when none of us know why anymore; we can't put a reason or rhyme, we just either do or don't.

Maybe holding on can show a sort of strength and unwillingness to give up on them, no matter what happens. Maybe it shows just how much you care and that nothing could ever make you stop. Maybe it's not a weakness and is, on the contrary, the exact opposite.