If dreams really did come true...

It's last night and I dream. I'm somewhere with close friends. Suddenly our wonderful youth leaders Matt and Rachel are back. We're finally together again after no contact for 4 long years. Rachel envelops me in a huge hug and we stand there, just hugging, for what seems like an eternity. She might have even picked me up and swung me around a bit. After we let go, she promply helps me onto her back and I sit up there, latching on to her, as she greets the rest of the youth there. I hold tightly to her neck and shoulders and lay my head on her shoulder right next to her's. We're finally together again after so long and it's so nice. I can feel the love in that place, so amazing and evident I never want to leave. This was what I'd been hoping and wishing and praying and striving for for such a long time and it had finally come true. We stayed with them the rest of the day and what felt like the rest of a lifetime and all is finally right with the world. I am so happy, happier than I have been in a very long time.

I remember all of this, sitting here, awake, and I cry. I long for all of it to be real. I know I dreamt of this because I've been wanting it so bad for such a long time. It is a bit interesting to me though, simply because part of me is angry at them for abandoning us so and causing so many problems in my life as a result. They made me feel like they don't love me or care about me anymore and I hate that feeling, even if I'm right. If I am though, they aren't who I thought they were or they've changed dramatically. However, seemingly against all of this, if they were to come back, it would be just like I dreamt; I would welcome them back with love and open arms because, regardless of all they caused, I still love them and having them back, even for a little while, would be a dream come true.