I'm done

Though I still feel weak, I know I am stronger than I've ever been.

You took my childhood from me. You took my self-worth, my self-esteem, and my comfort in life away from me with your words and now I'm taking them back. I will not believe your lies any longer. As hard as it is, I WILL forgive you because Christ forgave me and because the only person I'm hurting by holding onto all this anger, pain, and hatred is myself. No matter what you say or think, there is nothing you can do to stop me from becoming the woman God has called me to be and a better human being than you ever were. There's nothing you can do to stop me from showering all the love on my kids and everyone around me that you never showed to me and from marrying someone who knows me and loves me just the way I am and always will, even though you never did.

I will stop defining myself by your standards and killing myself to please you.
I will stop letting you walk all over me. You will not control me and you will not have any power over me anymore.

It's over.

Yes, there will be times your words will pierce me straight to the heart.
Yes, there will be times I will be struck down once more by the bitter unfairness of it all. But come what may, I will remember from now on that your abuse has only made me stronger and with God on my side, I can conquer anything. HE is the one who decides my worth. HE is the only one I need to impress. HE is all the love I need (something I still don't full understand but am working on every day).

I will not let you cripple me any longer.
I will not let the issues I have developed because of you handicap my life for one more day.

From now on, I will look ahead and focus on living for the only One who matters. I will learn to love myself and judge myself by His standards and not yours.
I will believe with all my heart that "though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will take care of me" (Psalm 27:10).

Mom made her choice a long time ago and now I've made mine. I couldn't control how I started my life but I can control how I finish it and I'm finishing it for Christ.

I'm choosing to not just survive but fight and conquer.
I'm choosing to move on.
I'm choosing to live.


"Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light." - Micah 7:8